I am a sad Mama
Well, today is the last day of summer vacation and Emma will be starting kindergarten tomorrow. I am having such a hard time with this. She went to pre-school last year and I don't remember being this poopy then, but she only went 3 mornings a week and this year it will be EVERY DAY!! Boohoo...
Thankfully, her school has started 1/2 days this year so she will still be able to come home at noontime to eat lunch with us and have some time. That is the only factor that is keeping me from breaking down. By next week, everything will be OK, but still...
It hit me yesterday that we are 1/3 of the way to 18!!! How scary is that? We only have to do what we have just done one more time and she will be 12 years old. That frightens me. And then the teen years...auuuugggghhhhhh! My sweet little girl will turn into a monster (I know I'm being dramatic) She is such a sweet little girl. Yesterday we got all her stuff together for school. I put Maelynn to nap and we sat down and she had all of her stuff gathered on the floor around her and she looked at me and said the words I love to hear..."Ok, mama, let's organize this!" We got her pencils sharpened, glue, crayons, erasers, scissors...all her things labeled and into her pencil bags and her brand new book bag and she's ready to go - I'm just not. I will not cry in front of her tomorrow, it will only make her sad, I will wait until they leave and then I will have my own pity party just for myself. And then before I know it, it will be 11:30 and I will be able to go get my girl. And, of course, I will have a little bundle of energy to distract me from my pity party, called Maelynn!
On to other things - last night I went to my sister's for a jewelry party. Maelynn came down and saw that I was getting ready and said, "Where oo goin?" To a party. "With us?" No. "Why?" Because it's just for mommy's. "Why?" Because it just is. "Oo leave us here by meself?" No, silly, I'm going to wait for daddy to come home to keep you. (Big smile and starts to laugh) "Oh, good. Emma keep me." No, Emma can't keep you yet - daddy will be home soon. "OK." Then, when I got home I went up to kiss them and Emma wanted to know who was there, what we ate, did I have pop, what I bought...and Maelynn was just glad to see me. I walked into her room and she said, "Oo home now. Good, I sleep." And she needed a "rug" (hug) and a kiss. We laugh at that all the time - a rug and a kiss before we leave. So, it's nice to come home to such a welcoming!
Ok - I may need some more therapy later, this has helped to give myself a little pep talk before tomorrow! Until then ~
Thankfully, her school has started 1/2 days this year so she will still be able to come home at noontime to eat lunch with us and have some time. That is the only factor that is keeping me from breaking down. By next week, everything will be OK, but still...
It hit me yesterday that we are 1/3 of the way to 18!!! How scary is that? We only have to do what we have just done one more time and she will be 12 years old. That frightens me. And then the teen years...auuuugggghhhhhh! My sweet little girl will turn into a monster (I know I'm being dramatic) She is such a sweet little girl. Yesterday we got all her stuff together for school. I put Maelynn to nap and we sat down and she had all of her stuff gathered on the floor around her and she looked at me and said the words I love to hear..."Ok, mama, let's organize this!" We got her pencils sharpened, glue, crayons, erasers, scissors...all her things labeled and into her pencil bags and her brand new book bag and she's ready to go - I'm just not. I will not cry in front of her tomorrow, it will only make her sad, I will wait until they leave and then I will have my own pity party just for myself. And then before I know it, it will be 11:30 and I will be able to go get my girl. And, of course, I will have a little bundle of energy to distract me from my pity party, called Maelynn!
On to other things - last night I went to my sister's for a jewelry party. Maelynn came down and saw that I was getting ready and said, "Where oo goin?" To a party. "With us?" No. "Why?" Because it's just for mommy's. "Why?" Because it just is. "Oo leave us here by meself?" No, silly, I'm going to wait for daddy to come home to keep you. (Big smile and starts to laugh) "Oh, good. Emma keep me." No, Emma can't keep you yet - daddy will be home soon. "OK." Then, when I got home I went up to kiss them and Emma wanted to know who was there, what we ate, did I have pop, what I bought...and Maelynn was just glad to see me. I walked into her room and she said, "Oo home now. Good, I sleep." And she needed a "rug" (hug) and a kiss. We laugh at that all the time - a rug and a kiss before we leave. So, it's nice to come home to such a welcoming!
Ok - I may need some more therapy later, this has helped to give myself a little pep talk before tomorrow! Until then ~
posted by Christy @ 8/22/2006 08:12:00 AM
3 Comments:
At Tue Aug 22, 09:13:00 AM,
Lyndsie Jean said…
OH Christy, I'm so sorry I don't envy you at all to have to send Emma to school. I was a mess when Spencer left and I'm just his sister and he's 18! Let us all know how her first day was!!! You kids are so STINKIN cute
At Tue Aug 22, 09:33:00 AM,
Seven said…
Well Christy, my sweet little girl will be twelve in a couple of months. I know what you're feeling! : )
At Tue Aug 22, 12:43:00 PM,
Susan said…
Time has a way of speeding us through life...way too fast for young moms. Just make everyday a special day. I had no one to tell me that when you and Amanda were small and I feel that I let so many opportunities slip by...that is why it's grand to be a Nana. I can try to make up for all the errors in your childhood. I WILL be good by the time I am a great grandmother! Tomorrow will come and go, just write a memory in the memory bank of your mind and keep it close. Time has a way of clouding our memories. That is why I took so many pictures through your childhood. I can remember Brad now, making fun of us because of all our cameras.
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